We start to reverse, the ship shakes a little as it's starting up. When it reaches a certain point in the water, all becomes quiet as we turn around to begin our journey to Swartz Bay. In that moment of calm and silence I felt something new...
A feeling of being pulled in two opposite directions at once.
It's best to visit Vancouver, be cautious and aware of how it's affecting me, and get out quickly if I am to open my heart to Victoria.I'm wondering if there is room in my heart for two different cities. It looks like one city will have to move over and make room.
7 comments:
I love both cities. I have lived in both. I live in Victoria currently but that doesn't mean I might not switch again in the future. I am completely content in both cities in different ways. It doesn't have to be one or the other.. weekend visits give you both!
I agree, there's room for both. I like lots of cities for different reasons. But, I'm also kinda slutty.
It's an interesting process - shifting one's sense of what makes life worth living to a new location. When I came back from Africa I drifted for quite a while. Physically I was here in Victoria but most of ME was still in Africa. I built a website about Africa and wrote a book and that helped. Then I began to haunt thrift stores and collect cheap Chinese porcelain. Now I know that I was doing that because it was totally un-African. There isn't the remotest association with Africa in any of the hundreds (yes) of Chinese vases that fill up every corner of my tiny apartment here. The only memories attached to each piece are Victoria memories. I'm not much into the porcelain any more since I'm pretty much over the hump. I'm now HERE. The same thing happened to me in Africa. I'll quote from my book: "Although I've been in Africa for almost a month now, I continue to arrive anew almost every day. With each arrival a little more of me is here, but a little more of me is left behind as well. When I am fully here, I will not be the same person who departed on this journey."
Davin - This is what I've thrived on for the last year - I'm not THAT far away. And really, Victoria is our #1 choice of cities in Canada other than Vancouver.
IG - I think there is room too. For now Victoria will have to ebb and flow in the crevices until Vancouver moves over.
Ben - Book? You're kidding? What is the name of it?
That is a great way of describing the feeling: "physically I'm here, but most of ME is still there...."
Your quote also speaks to me - I'm not the same person who left Vancouver 6 months ago. Just as I'm not the same person who left the prairies for Vancouver. It's not a bad change, but it's change and sometimes that can be intimidating.
This also reminds me of a favourite quotation of mine:
How hard it is to escape from places. However carefully one goes they hold you - you leave little bits of yourself fluttering on the fences - little rags and shreds of your very life.
Some of my African stuff is on another blog:
Under the Lemon Tree and you can download a free PDF copy of the book, "Night Studies: Stories of Life in a West African Village" there, or read some of the stories online. There's some other articles and pics there too.
Hi "Jabba" - I just discovered your blog (via Benjamin Maddison's photoblog). Great stuff, please keep writing, and love your drawings, too. I can relate to the feeling of being pulled in different directions. Victoria is on an island, and the constraints are real.
Incidentally, I'm involved in a little startup, which aggregates local news and blogs for Victoria. (We can eventually expand to other cities, but we're still developing as I type.) It's called MetroCascade, take a look. Adding your blog later today!
Ben - You continue to amaze me. Your Lemon Tree blog is really well written, I'm enjoying your stories a little bit here and there. Your book looks interesting as well!
Yule - Great! Your site looks great as well, what a find for me, since we're relatively new to the city! Thanks for the positive comments...
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